


Things We've Left Unsaid

by ilnn



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, a little angst but with fluff in the end, they are just a pair of idiots who should voice out their feelings but don't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-02-24 15:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2587031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilnn/pseuds/ilnn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will and Nico are childhood friends, they were neighbours and grew up together. When Nico was 16, Will had to leave home to go to college. Can Nico give up his feelings or will he chase after Will? What is he going to find if he does?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time _ever_ writing fanfiction and I'm not sure how it went, I hope you guys can help me with that.  
> 

When Nico woke that morning, just before his alarm, he immediately realized what day it was - 10th of August - the day that Will is gonna leave to go to college. The boy rapidly left his bed and took a quick shower, put on the fist clothes that he found in the floor of his bedroom and left his house. He knew he didn't need to knock next door, so he just went ahead to find out if the door was unlocked, and it was. He entered respectfully, saying good morning (even if he didn't know if there was people awake), and headed to Will's room, and then he knocked.  
  
"Nico?" Will's voice from the inside asked. Nico's nervous hand opened the door, and he let himself fall on the undone bed. "I figured", chuckled the blonde and then made a serious yet kinda sad face, "so. Last day, huh?". Those words stood in the air while silence crushed them. They just couldn't look at each other, trying to conceal the feelings overwhelming them. Nico looked at the ceiling, _'stay calm, Di Angelo'_.  
  
"You, Solance, are gonna rock it". He put himself together and looked at Will "this does not have to be so sad, we'll see each other on Christmas", he tried a smile that wasn't very convincing, but Will smiled as well. He could understand.  
  
"I'm gonna miss it here, the memories of all my life are here .."  
  
"Stop that! You are following your dream, you are lucky to have one so don't let memories or whatever stop you, make new memories, you have a future ahead, stop doubting!" Will smile widely.  
  
"How can you be younger than me and be so wise, sunshine?" then his gaze fell to the ground. "I am really going to miss you"  
Nico felt those words stabbing him. Sure, Will was gonna miss him, but just like a big brother misses his siblings. Nico was sure that's not the way he was going to miss Will.  
  
Ever since Will got accepted in pre med school, Nico had reassure what he had suspected for years; what he felt for the blonde was not only a friendly familiar feeling. He thought of Will as the only person he could really trust and show the real Nico to. Imagining his life without Will was impossible, and yet there they where, in the old boy's room with him having all packed up to fly away from Nico. He just wondered if he was the only one who felt this sad and incomplete.  
  
Because Will had made him feel complete for years. And now he was going to leave, and the young boy would be all alone.  
  
  
~  
  
Finishing high school without Will was as horrible as he thought it would be. The only good thing that came into his life was Hazel. She was a very good friend and to be honest, they only had eachother. Hazel's mom had a weird reputation so nobody came close to her, and at first, neither did Nico. But destiny called and they had to work on a biology assignment together. After that, they've been inseparable.  
  
At senior year, Hazel wanted to make a pact with Nico so they would go to the same college. But, what the hell, Nico already had a college he wanted to attend.. no real reason, _not al all_.. But she insisted and did her research to found out that THE college that Nico wanted to go, to had a really good geology department, so she just limited the pact to that particular university because even though she did not know Nico's reasons to be so stubborn about the whole thing, he seemed like he wasn't gonna change his mind about it. Those little years of friendship was something she was unwilling to lose. So, just like that, senior year was all about studying and preparing for their common goal. They really wanted to achieve it, and they worked hard together.  
The same say they got their letters they started packing.  
  
Nico was so, so excited but he did not want to show it. He felt 10 again, when Will came to his house with a new game or a very rare card of Mythomagic. You know, the happy days, when Bianca was alive and the family was complete and sane. When they could just knock next door to play with Will, and Nico could stay overnight and fall sleep because he was too exhausted for having played games until way passed their bedtime.  
When Bianca was here. And Will was here. And his mother was not depressed. When life had meaning and was going somewhere.  
  
But now, with the whole college situation, he finally felt like his life was finally taking course again. He had someone to share it with, and, hopefully, someone will be waiting for him. Or at least, will be happy to see him.  
  
  
~  
  
The dorm room was smaller that he had pictured, but large enough to live and study comfortably. He hadn't met his roommate yet but, the girl who had shown him the room, told him that he was a third year, wich was very unusual (freshman sharing room with another freshman was the usual) but the boy - Jason, she said - had refused to leave the room for gods know what reason.  
It was still early, so Nico started unpacking. He was about to get to the half of it when he heard a knock on the door. Nico was going to atend it but then it opened to reveal a tall blonde boy with glasses and a orange t-shirt. He had a the little scar on the lip that Nico couldn't help to stare, to then look away because it was kinda weird. The blonde did not seem to notice.  
  
"Hey there! You must be Nico di Angelo". He said and looked at the younger boy with a smile. He seemed so happy to have him there that Nico was a little perplex at the older boy's enthusiasm. Jason, seeing no response, added a little ashamed "did I get the name right?"  
  
"Yeah" answered Nico, finally snapping out of it, "sorry, nice to meet you, ..."  
  
"Jason! Jason Grace" he walked over to shake hands. Nico shook it shyly, still looking at the golden-haired boy. He always had had struggle with talking to people, but he decided to try to socialize. _'You are going to live with this boy, so, be friendly, Nico'_  
  
"The girl that show me the room told me that you are not new here" Nico said to start the conversation. And because he was very curious about it  
  
"Yeah, that". He put his hand in the back of this neck and look at the floor, "well, I don't know if you think it's weird, but I'm really fond of this room and I just don't want to leave it. And well", he looked at Nico with a smile, "after last year I found it very interesting to live with a freshman. Don't know man, I just really like to help them, we all got here so clueless and a little help is always good."  
  
Nico felt warm inside, like he just found a missing big brother. He looked at Jason and made a half smile ,"you seem nice. And I'm clueless, so I guess this could work". Jason made a wide smile. Nico tried to copied gesture. "Can I ask you what's your major?"  
  
"Well, yeah roommate, we might as well start to know each other". He made a gesture to Nico that you can read as 'Can I help you unpack?', Nico nodded and Jason started to put things out of the box that was in from of him and left them outside of it, then Nico took them one by one and placed them in the different cabinets. "When I came here, I entered in the Meteorology department, I love it but I don't think I wanna do that forever, so now I want to be a teacher. Right now I'm just taking classes from the Pedagogy department".  
  
"So, here you can change majors? Interesting."  
  
"Yeah, I thought that I was going to have to leave, you know? Start over from scratch. And I didn't want to, I have a life here, a girlfriend, friends, memories, and being able to stay has made everything so easy, I'm really glad."  
  
"Can everybody do it? I mean, you seem like ... a rule breaker, in a very unconventional legal way."  
  
Jason laughed. "You say it for the room thing? Well, yes, I think everybody can but most of them are not willing to. It's a lot of paperwork and chatting with professors and authorities of campus".  
  
"Sounds like something I'd like to miss"  
  
"Exactly" he laughed, "what about you? What brought you here?"  
  
"Not my major, if that's the question" he smiled, "but for now you don't need to know that. I'm majoring in History".  
  
"I don't really know you, but that really suits you" Jason said smiling. He had finished unpacking the first box and he started to dismantle it to leave it flat under the bed. He was doing so, when there was a knock on the door. The blond boy left the box under the bed and moved to go open up. He laid his blue eyes in the young girl's in front of him. They where so... hazel, shining with a golden bright. "Hi"  
  
"Hi back" she smiled a little shy, "are you Nico's roommate?"  
  
"Yeah, Jason"  
  
"I'm Hazel"  
  
"Can't imagine why" he smiled  
  
"I get that a lot" she said with a little laugh. "Is Nico here?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, come in." He moved from the door, letting her in.  
  
"Oh my, this is a mess!" she said while looking around, "but wow, yeah, I thought that you would be like 30% of what you have now"  
  
"Jason helped" Nico said, greeting Hazel with a smile.  
  
"And now we have Hazel so we'll finish in no time" Jason added patting both their backs, then he grabbed another box.  
  
In fact, it wasn't long until they had finished. Now the room seemed habitable and Nico was starting to feel comfortable.  
  
"So Hazel, are you and Nico..." Jason looked at them both "you know, just friends?" he asked genuinely interested. The dynamic that they had was not very romantic but they did move in sync in a way that they sure know each other a lot. Hazel smiled and gaze at Nico, who smiled as well.  
  
"Yeah, nothing going on here" she answered very lightly, "we get that a lot too, but no, we are like brother and sister maybe? I appreciate a lot our friendship so I followed Nico here" she laughed "but the program here is excellent, so, no complains."  
  
"You said geology, right? I know some students from your department and they really like it here" Jason said, and they he added thoughtfully "so, nothing romantic between you two, OK, noted. But next time, when you meet my girlfriend, if she says you two are a thing, then you are. She is never wrong." Nico and Hazel smiled trying to picture Jason's girlfriend. They came to nothing, only that she must be really beautiful. "Hey!" Jason changed the subject, "Dinner is from 8 to 10, and after that there's a bonfire near the lake. I can take you guys, but I'm not gonna stay with you because I want you to meet new people, especially if it is people you are gonna share classes with."  
  
"Okay, thanks Jason, you are being a good papa bear" Nico said before he could stop his mouth. Jason stared at him in disbelieve. And then he started laughing, both Hazel and Nico joined. Maybe this year was not gonna be a bad one either.  
  
~  
  
  
The bonfire was really big and loud, like they had lighted on fire two or three cars. Hazel and Nico started to walk around it so they could see the magnitude of it, also to try to recognize someone of the crowd. They where circling it when Nico bump into someone.  
  
"Careful, little one, if I bump into someone like that again I might turn them into a human torch, and that would be against all I'm trying to learn here" the tall boy laughed.  
  
Nico recognized the voice, the laughter, the high, the bright hair in the fire's light, the tanned skin that now looked extra yellow, the blue eyes that kinda looked green because of the light. He stared, he could not move or breathe. The chuckles stopped.  
  
"Nico?" Will asked thunderstruck. He slowly, like Nico was going to disappear, put his hand in the shoulder of the black haired boy. Then he smiled, using every muscles that you need to form a smile to the maximum. That smile, Nico thought (when he could think again), was brighter than the huge bonfire next to them.  
  
Then Will pulled him closer and they hugged, long and tight, putting their bodies together like if they knew the longing that both boys had felt. Nico forgot about the world around him, putting his head in the curve of Will's shoulder. When they pulled back, both had their eyes watery and looked at each other in discovery. Nico felt every feeling, every detail, that he had piled up for years coming back to him.  
  
And then, out of nowhere, somebody hugged Will from the back and pulled him close. "There you are, babe, I was looking for you" The guy was almost the same high as Will, a little taller maybe, and he grabbed Will's chin and turn his face to kiss him on the mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS1: FYI, I don't live in the USA and I know nothing of the school/university system.  
> PS2: English is not my first lenguaje so I hope it wasn't very confusing. If something is wrong please let me know :)  
> PS3: I'm updating the chapters but the story won't change, just re drafting stuff.


	2. Chapter 2

The roar of the bonfire kept buzzing in Nico's ears when he arrived to his room. It was still early and Jason was reading on his bed next to a gorgeous girl that looked Cherokee descent. They were both reading different things, just enjoying the company. At the sound of the door, Jason rose his eyes from his book and waved at Nico, who just looked at him, nodded and drove himself to the bathroom.  
  
The image of Will kissing another person kept playing in the back of his mind. Especially how Will just let it happen and how everything seemed so was casual, so natural. They sure were boyfriends. How could he missed it? How could this happen? For how long? In a way, he was in heaven and hell. Will was willing to kiss men. But that man was not himself.  
  
He sat on the floor, looking at the ceiling, everything he had planned for the years to come was now crumbling. Nico's eyes watered without him wanting them to.  
  
~  
  
  
His program had a tutoring team where students from upper years kind of 'adopted' a group of freshman and helped them with more tours of campus, lessons of how the cafeteria worked and all the things a freshman needed to know and that the first tour that the poor girls running around campus, from the first day, did not covered.  
  
In Nico's group were 4 students and the tutor, who was a latino law student called Reyna. She seemed really distant but Nico noticed that she was being very caring with the group, also really kind and clear with everything she had to say and explain. It was the first day, and the group were walking through the park that led to the science building when Nico saw Will alone under a tree. He was reading an anatomy book and while he was looking at the pictures he was comparing them with his own leg, and then drawing on it with an eyeliner. Nico laughed to himself. Typical Will, he always manages to find unconventional ways to learn, and they always worked. They even had helped Nico in the past, when Will was still in high school.  
Nico thought of walking over to the tree and just say hi. He didn't want to make it too obvious that he felt horrible about last night's discovery. The fact that Will already has a boyfriend. Because, after all, he was still his best friends (was he?) or at least and old important friend.  
But while he was deciding the group had kept on walking and he was being left behind. He looked at the group and then to Will, and just jogged to continue with the tour.  
  
That night, he was at the dorm writing a letter to his mom with a few thing that he still needed from home (yeah, his mom was not a fan of technology and also, if she has the letter in her hand she could use it as a check list), when a knock on the door interrupted both him and Jason from what they where doing. They looked at each other and in a silent agreement Nico stood and walked to open the door. To his surprise, it was Will.  
  
"What are you doing here? How did you know what room I'm in?" Nico couldn't help the smile on his face, he was seriously amused, and he certainly did not expect Will at his door.  
  
"You know I've been here two years, right?" he lowered his voice adding mysteriously "I know things", he smiled  
  
"Yeah, sure" He smiled as well. Even if his minda knew that there was zero chance, his heart couldn't help but skip a beat in front of that smile. He stare a few seconds and then noticed that they were still on the door, "so are we going in or out?"  
  
"I'd rather if we would, I don't know, walk around?" He seemed nervous. Nico nodded and closed the door.  
  
It was colder outside that Nico thought it would be, and he was really regretting not coming back for his aviator jacket. On the other hand, Will looked like the cold didn't bother him, and the moonlight made him look stunning even when his skin looked extremely pale. His factions were highlighted and he looked even more beautiful, not to mention how special his eyes looked when they were darkened by the night. He looked at Nico with those, and the Italian just could not think.  
  
"I wanted to tell you, I mean, talk to you ... about Peter."  
  
"Is he your boyfriend?" Nico was trying very hard for his voice not to come out broken.  
  
"Kinda" Will avoided Nico's gaze, looking at the stars.  
  
"What's that suppose to mean?"  
  
"We are" he said, "boyfriends, I mean. But it's really new and I'm still not used to it."  
  
"So, are you, you know... gay?"  
  
" I think so, yeah" he said almost inaudible. Nico was imploding. How? Since when?.  
  
"What about Claire?"  
  
"I was twelve, Nico, that doesn't count"  
  
"And Monica?"  
  
"Fourteen"  
  
"Sadie?"  
  
"Nico, stop". Finally Will eyes met Nico's. "I know it must be confusing for you, yesterday you just disappeared and I did not know what to think, I just assumed you left because you didn't took very well the way you found out". Nico could see the pain in Will's pale face, "but you are really important to me and I just could not leave things like this. I wanted to be honest with you and just, I don't know, make sure you don't hate me?" Nico's heart broke again at those words, how could Will even think that Nico would hate him for that? Yes. He was hurt. But not for the reason the oldest boy thought. And now, at the view of Will, Nico just couldn't bear seeing him trying not to cry. "I'm so happy that you came here, I don't want to mess it up."  
  
"I'm sorry, Will, but come on, don't make that face! Man up" Will made confused face while he was staring at Nico and then just grinned. The black-haired boy could feel everything inside of him telling him to just say the words, tell him everything. But, what was the point? He already had someone. "Yeah, I did not took it so well, because..." _don't Nico, don't say it, conceal it_ "I was surprised, but that's all. With everything and this, you are still the old Will, aren't you? and, I don't want to mess it up either".  
  
"So, we are good?" Said Will. The sadness fading away from his voice and features.  
  
"Yeah, we are good" He aswered, still melting in Will's eyes while he was trying to compose himself. How can he possibly be fine with this? He was certainly _not good ___. All this was a lot to handle, and yeah, he was gonna need mandatory acting lessons if he in some point had to be in the same room with Will and Peter.  
  
Will did not look away and they just stood there looking at each other, until Nico just could not take it anymore and coughed to try to change the subject. So, he started talking. They had a lot to catch up and Nico just talked about leaving home with Hazel, getting here and meeting Jason and Reyna, and the tutoring group. Then he told him that he had seen him studying earlier under a tree, they laughed at it and then just talked about everything and nothing.  
They lost track of time, and when they looked at the clock, they noticed that they where at least two hours past the curfew. Surprised that they have not been caught the guards of campus, they laughed and just run to the dorms, where they had to sneaked up, laughing quietly at the adventure. When they parted, Will rubbed Nico's hair, saying good night.  
  
Nico could still feel Will's hand in his head when he was trying to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

After they cleared the "all good" with Will, his weeks had been very good. He had sailed through his first classes with not much to report from them. They were not fun, but he wasn't very fond of fun either. He loved history, he had always felt like he was not from this decades.  
He had hanged out with Hazel a couple of times, but they were both starting to get busier as the weeks passed, so they just limited to have dinner together. Dinner time was only theirs and it was very sacred.  
  
"So you still don't plan to tell me why you run off from the bonfire" Hazel tried once more to get the information out of Nico. That had happened weeks ago, how bad could it be?  
  
" Are you seriously still dangling over that?" said the Italian, choosing a dessert from the display. He decided a chocolate donut for tonight.  
  
"Okay, I know I've been a little insistent with the topic, but you're being particularly evasive about it, making me even more curious"  
  
Nico rolled his eyes "I'm always evasive with the things I don't want to talk about, sis"  
  
"Don't be unreasonable!" Hazel snapped with a smile "and don't play the 'always' card, because you never win"  
  
"So, you wanna know why I left?" Nico said with a wry smile. Hazel just limited herself to make a face and rolled her eyes.  
  
"And now you are playing with me, making me believe that you are going to say it but finally saying anything at all. Great".  
  
"So, the 'always' card won this time?" he laughed, sitting in a table that was very far from the line to pick up the food. Actually, it was the further table from it.  
  
"You know I'm not gonna drop it and you, in some point, are going to have to tell me"  
  
"Hazel" his expression turned serious "you know I have trusting issues, right? Even when you are my best friend, I wish that I could just spill everything but, it's hard for me"  
  
"I knew that it was serious" her features changed to concern.  
  
"Not serious, but I don't think I'm ready to say it out loud yet" he tried a smile to change the atmosphere around them.  
  
"I'm here for when you are" she smiled, and then put a drop of mashed potato on Nico's cheek to make him laugh.  
  
  
~  
  
  
Nico had never been the boy that made friends easily. He was always on-guard and afraid to let people in. Today especially reminded him that everyone was temporary and people would leave him sooner or later. He looked at the calendar. A day like today, 7 years ago, his sister Bianca had died.  
He wished that he could at least visit her at the graveyard, like he has been doing for years. But he was here. And this was the first day that he was away from home,he was just hoping that Bianca would forgive him.  
  
He was alone in the room, lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had skipped class and that made him feel exceedingly guilty. Bianca would have never approved that, which made him feel guiltier.   
Now, it was four in the afternoon and he had also missed lunch. He just didn't want to leave the room and see other people, living people. He just wanted to be there until he could not postpone more going to dinner with Hazel.  
At 5 pm, there was a knock on the door. "How strange" he murmured, he knew that Jason had a key. He decided to ignore it.  
Another knock. "Nico, it's me. Open up, I'm not going anywhere". Nico's heart skipped a beat, what was Will doing here? His legs moved at their own will and led him to the door.  
  
"I didn't see you at lunch, and I waited for you after class. A class you didn't grace with your presence..." his graceful face turned sad "then I noticed what day it was"  
  
"You remembered", his voice almost defunct.  
  
Even when Nico was in a way glad Will remembered, the fact _per se ___had made it more painful, made it all more real. Will had known Bianca. He had been there, with him, the day they knew she had died. And Nico could say properly that Will was the reason he put himself together back then, because, after that day Maria di Angelo had turned gray and depressed. And he had grown apart from her, blaming her for his sister's death. The distance and the feelings that Maria had sensed from his son, had turned her even more dark.  
  
"How could I forget?" Will sweet voice escaped with mouth as he placed an arm around Nico, putting him close into a hug, to try and comfort the night-haired. Nico was so consumed by the memories of that day that only his body reacted to the gesture, pinning closer to Will. The high, the smell, the way that his head fitted perfectly in the crook of the blonde's neck, everything around the tall boy made him feel at ease.  
  
That moment, that hug, had been the best thing that had happened all day.  
  
  
~  
  
  
It was almost 9. Nico and Will were side by side in the younger boy's bed. Nico was well aware of the proximity, they were so very close, he didn't even needed to move the arm and he could grab the other boy's hand. It was tiring.  
They had been laying there, reminiscing and talking about home, noticing once again that they had been in each other's life since both boys could remember, when the di Angelo's had arrived from Italy. Will was 3 years old back then, and so was Bianca.  
Both their mothers had connected immediately, becoming good friends in least than a month. They had few in common but a important thing bonded them: they were single mothers with children the same age. So, the siblings and Will had no other option but growing up being almost always together. Both families had supported each other in difficult times and enjoyed the gleeful ones.  
  
And, there's was no darker time than when _the accident_ happened.  
  
Nico remembered the day more clearly that he would wanted to. It was raining uncontrollably since a couple of days. He was in Will's house because Bianca and his mother had gone out, in a completely innocent shopping drive, that he just skipped because he rather hang out with Will that going shopping.  
At some point in the night, Nico noticed the time on the wall clock, it was late, much later than they said they would return. A shiver toured his spine. Nico stood and walked towards the home's phone, Wil watched him doing it with a confused face. When he placed his hand on the handset, the phone rang.  
Everything inside Nico told him not to answer. The timing was a bad sing. But he was right there, hand placed.   
The voice on the other side of the line asked for an adult, but Will's mom was in the shower. They asked for his name, he told them, "oh, you are family. How old are you, son?". "11". A long silence took the line, they were seriously apprehensive about telling a kid about the bad news. "Is there someone older around you?", "just a friend, he's 13". Another silence. Nico didn't know, but the woman in the line was chewing her lip, thinking, deciding. She was new and have never had to go throw a situation like this one. "Ok, here is what we are going to do, okay Nico? You said your friend's mother was on the shower, right? When she's out, tell her to take you to the central hospital. You and me will talk here, K? Your friend can come too".  
  
The conversation had told him nothing concrete. Only that it was a really serious thing, but he did not know if it involved both his mom and sister or just one, or if they were just injured or...  
  
Then he remembered arriving at the hospital, running throw the hallways, getting to the information desk and saying his name. The voice in the phone now had a face and she seemed devastated.  
First they told them about Maria. The doctor was talking mostly to Will's mother but trying to smooth thing's because of the kids presence. Nico's mother had a little head contusion and a few fractured ribs, one of them had made a small hole in the liver, but she was in surgery and the doctors said she had very good odds.   
Then Bianca, who was also in surgery. She had received the brunt: a massive head trauma causing a big brain injury, with a lot of internal bleeding and swelling. Even though she had a lot more going on, no other injure compared to that one. The doctor said "we are doing absolutely everything we can". Like if it were enough.  
Maria made it through the surgery. Bianca didn't.  
  
When his mother woke up in the post-op, Nico was the one that told her that Bianca had passed away. He said it with resentment, angry his mother had taken away her sister, blaming her for everything. The way Nico's eyes burned with rancor scared Maria. That day marked the _before and after ___in both Maria and Nico's life. She had lost both her children, one deceased and one that turned against her, blinded by the rage of mourning. She didn't feel strong enough, so she isolated herself, letting the depression consume her. Making no afford to try to make amends with the son who still lived with her, but felt so out of reach.  
Nico turned grim and solitary. He grew apart from his classmates and the few friends he had. Even though he ate his meals in Will's house, he lived alone until his mother was discharged.   
Not once he went to see her while she was still in the hospital.  
  
~  
  
He could say, after all this years, looking at Will by the corner of his eye, that the older boy was the only one that he could not get rid of. Mostly because the he had refused for years to let the Italian alone, taking all the shit that Nico used to try to grow unattached from people. Will never gave in.  
  
And Nico was the most thankful man in the world for that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like I had to let go of Bianca but keep the anger that Nico felt over her dead, but not involving Percy meant put the blame elsewhere... sorry?


	4. Chapter 4

They were so close, their bodies touching almost all the time, from shoulder to toes. In one moment they turned their heads and it left them face to face, with them just looking at each other's eyes. Nico smiled when Will hair got to his eyes, and he pushed it out shyly. The movement made the older boy a little more red that he would have like it, and turned to face the ceiling. He did not know how Nico would take that, but he just couldn't avoid doing it. Because, there, lying in bed next to Nico, was heaven. Will enjoyed the warm, loved the proximity. But hated himself for feeling like this.  
  
The crush he had developed over the little Italian boy was legendary. It started so long ago, when he knew what love and dating was. He tried to act normal, and he tried so much, for so long, that it came naturally one day. But when Nico did those little things, like pushing the hair out of his eyes while lying next to him, alone in his bed (and room), it was impossible for him to tell his face to remain in control.  
  
When he was 13, Bianca died. It was the event that had marked his life, maybe not as deeply as the mark that it had made on the di Angelos, but he knew Bianca since he was 3, and she was like a sister to him. That very day, he made his mission to take care of Nico, because Bianca would have wanted that. He would be the 'brother' now.  
But everything got complicated. Nico shut down completely, he didn't eat much, he didn't seem to be sleeping well. And more importantly, he did not talk to anyone. Will tried to make his way into his life again, but his attempts failed over and over again. And then was when he first noticed how important was for him Nico's company. And not as a brother, he wasn't his brother, he was a friend, his best friend.  
  
It took almost 4 months for Will to make Nico smile again. And that first smile, was the one that made him comprehend everything. That smile was like and epiphany. That smile made the little cocoons on his belly turn into butterflies.  
  
After that everything got even more complicated. He had to hide his crush, for so many reasons he could not start making a list. First of all, he was a boy, and so was Nico, and boys were not supposed to like boys. Also, the Italian was only eleven, and it was not possible for him to like someone, right?. Also, he was supposed to be like his big brother, now more than ever. And Nico was going through a very difficult time and it was not fair to put other thing on the table, when the table was already full.  
  
So, when he was 16, he had tried to date girls. Mostly to feel "normal" because all his friends were looking for girlfriends, but also to feel normal about his feeling for Nico, perhaps just to prove them wrong... His looks were showing, he had grown at least a foot and he was slowly becoming really popular, even when he had no real talent apart for being smart and being good at taking care of people. He had already decided to go to med school, so he was trying to make the most of his high school experience. The two years that he was "alone" in high school passed like that, he flirted with girls, studied a lot but also went out a lot with friends, he was a very social person and everyone wanted to be close to him.  
  
Everything changed (at least to him) the day that Nico stepped on the same high school that he attended. He did not stopped seeing his friends, or partying or studying. But he stopped the flirting. He knew it was stupid and made it even more obvious, but he really did not wanted Nico to think that he liked to fool around with girls. Or that he was unavailable. He had always had this fantasy where Nico told him that he liked him, and Will would confess as well and they would kiss and date and tell their mothers; then, holding hand they would visit Bianca's grave, and he would promise her that he would always take care and love Nico.  
  
But years passed and Nico never confessed to him, clearly because he did not like him the same way. Will was only like a big brother to him. He knew that. So, he never confessed either.  
  
He was 18 and he had been accepted at college. He'd been in love with Nico for 5 long years, he could not take it anymore. He was going to tell him.  
  
"Nico?" he asked when he heard the steps outside, followed by the small knock. Nico let himself fall on the undone bed. "I figured", he chuckled. _This is it, Will, go ahead._ "So, last day, huh?" He was so nervous he though he would puke. He could not look at Nico. He really wanted to be brave, but the risk was to high.  
  
"You, Solance, are gonna rock it". Will noticed by the corner of his eye that Nico was now looking at him, so he faced him. "this does not have to be so sad, we'll see each other on Christmas". Nico he tried a smile that wasn't very convincing. Will smiled as well. _Now or never, Solance_  
  
"I'm gonna miss it here, the memories of all my life are here.." _you are here_.  
  
"Stop that! You are following your dream, you are lucky to have one so don't let memories or whatever stop you, make new memories, you have a future ahead, stop doubting!" Will couldn't but smile widely.  
  
"How can you be younger than me and be so wise, sunshine?" then his gaze fell to the ground, once again Nico has stopped him. "I am really going to miss you" he said. Maybe all the times that Nico had interrupted him was for a reason, perhaps he noticed the blonde boy's feeling and he was trying to avoid a confession. So, he did not tried again.  
  
  
~  
  
  
Leaving Nico behind was the most painful thing he'd done in years. But at the same time, leaving home was opening so many doors, that he knew he couldn't not leave. College was about fifty percent of what he thought it would be. He thought study, clubs and friends, a little party maybe. But he did not expected all the diversity that he found there. There was something for everyone, someone for everyone.  
  
His roommate when he was a freshman, Nate, was a african american nerd kid who studied engineering. He was super smart but not very talkative. He joined a club and in a month he showed up with a girlfriend. Will was not very interested in love, but he knew that loving Nico was taking him nowhere, so at least, for the first time in years, he put himself on the market. He was not looking for someone but if a someone showed up, he was willing to try.  
  
On his second year he met Peter. He was openly known gay, who has a reputation of being a good fuck. When Will meet him he would never picture that he could actually be a good guy, smart and funny. He was in pre med as well, but he was a year older, and they shared a class because Peter had failed it last semester. They became friend, but nothing more. Will was not out yet, but he has already accepted that he was gay, even when he had never actually made out with a guy, being in love with a boy that long was enough for him to accept it.  
  
When the semester was ending, Peter confessed. He told Will that since he realized he liked him, he even stopped fooling around other boys, because it meant nothing. Will told him that he didn't see him that way, even when he was gay, Peter was only a good friend.  
  
After the confession, he rushed to him dorm. He just needed space, and to think. His new roommate (he didn't know why but everyone change dorms every year, along with roommates) was sleeping. Was it so bad if he dated Peter, even if he did not like him yet?  
  
The same night, he texted Nico asking how was his day.  
  
~  
  
  
Nico didn't know how to interpret the sudden movement Will made to avoid his gaze. What was it? Was Will redder or was his imagination? Nico chuckle at himself, of course not, why would he blush? Hearing the little laugh, Will turned again, his face perfectly pale. _See? just your imagination, di Angelo_  
  
"What?" Will asked, amused.  
  
"Nothing really" he said, smiling, then looking at the ceiling again. "I should really go and look for Hazel"  
  
"Shall we go?"  
  
"Are you not eating with... Peter?". Will looked at him like questioning 'what Peter?' . Then made an _o_ with him mouth.  
  
"Yeah, you're right". He sat on the bed, his back to Nico. "Come on".  
  
While Nico was closing the door, he watched how Will was walking away from him. It felt like a metaphor.  
  
Then, the golden-haired boy turned and smiled at him while saying "come on, I don't want to leave you behind".


	5. Chapter 5

Nico was starting to really realize that having this feeling for Will was gonna get him nowhere. He had been hoping, dreaming, craving, for a encounter that hasn't turn the way that he pictured. Will had someone else. And he had to accept it. He'd been having those thoughts all week. Now, it was a Friday afternoon and he was walking through one of the hallways that led to his dorm when Hazel called him.  
  
"Hi there, you busy later?"  
  
"Hmm, not particularly, why?"  
  
"There's a p-a-r-t-y"  
  
"Where is the fun for me?" He smiled.  
  
"Please Nico, come with me, there's this guy I have an eye on and he'll be there, pleaaaase" Nico could imagine her pouting and let a chuckle escape his mouth.  
  
"And going with another guy plays in your favor?"  
  
"Going plays in my favor" She sounded dead serious "I have a few acquaintances from class but not real friends yet, I want a friend there, if something goes wrong, pleease"  
  
"Oh my" he sighed, "I guess I'll have to pretend to have fun for hours.. Ok, when you're done with the flirting find me in the darkest corner, by myself" Hazel laughed a little long. Nico joined with a grin.  
  
"I can totally picture that" She said "Ok, so this thing is in like 4 hours, what do you saay, I pick you up in 3?"  
  
"Sound like a plan"  
  
  
Deciding to be over Will and checking out guys in a party were in two very different levels. He was not quite ready. So he was trying to have fun, alone in a sofa with a red cup of soda with a little vodka. He was just looking around, studying the behavior of the multiple characters in sight. He saw Hazel talking with a very bulky asian guy, who seemed really shy, which was a rare image. Nico guessed that he was the guy his friend had told him about, because she was using little details of flirtation - like the looking right in the eye all the time, the touching his arm when she laughed at his comment, and also she was laughing a lot. He seemed like a good guy, but still, Hazel was one of the most precious persons he had in the world, so he was totally concentrated in the whole situation, judging the movements of the guy and ready if anything seemed abnormal or wrong.  
While he was at it -the staring game he was playing-, someone sat next to him. Nico didn't pay attention, he was well invested on his duty. But the guy next to him had no respect for personal space, and when the Italian was going to turn to just make a face at him and tell him to back off, the guy talked.  
  
"She's gonna notice that you are staring, Sunshine, you're not being subtle"  
  
"Solace? What are you doing here?"  
  
"Well it's a party, ain't it?" he looked to the front, putting his eyes in the _Hazel scene_. "She's pretty"  
  
"She's the most amazing girl I know" Nico blurted out. Will eyes opened a little bigger and turned to see Nico, who had a little grin on his lips and a caring look in his eyes, while he kept staring at Hazel. _Whoa, what?_ Will thoughts were all over the place.  
  
"Wow hold it there, loverboy, you know her?" Nico had totally forgotten that Hazel and Will didn't know each other, he laughed. The song on the back didn't let Will hear that laugh, which made the golden-haired boy felt sad, which just added to the feeling that something was wrong. Who was she? Why was she flirting with asian boy knowing Nico? How could she be so foolish? The song stopped, and turned into a slow ballad. _Ballad time? Now? Really?_  
  
"Yeah, she's my best friend" Nico looked at him "I met her the next year you left".  
  
_Woah woah, what?_ Nico has a new best friend, and he totally had a thing for her? Will felt seriously replaced. And jealous. _Wait, jealous?_. He composed himself, "And with that straight face you're telling me about the girl that took my place when I left?" Will tried to make it a joke, but his eyes weren't laughing. Nico did laugh.  
  
"Will, you're overreacting" the younger boy laughed a little more, and decided to put a little more coal in the fire, just for fun "but I must add that she followed me because she wanted to attend to the same university as me". With that on the table, Nico looked at Will. The reaction of the blonde boy was not what he was expecting. Will looked hurt. "Woah, Will, are you OK?" Nico asked, not relating what he had said to the look on Will's eyes.  
  
Snapping out of it and making a poker face that turned into a small smile, Will responded that yeah, he was fine, only that the liquor was kicking him a little and that he needed to move. The stood up rapidly, making himself a little dizzy, and grabbed Nico by the wrist.  
  
"We are going dancing"  
  
"Will, it's a slow song, sit down, you are looking pale" Nico's thoughts turned to the reality of the way they've met tonight "are you here alone?" Will sat. Yeah, slow dance with Nico was probably not the best idea.  
  
"Yeah, my friends and Peter had to study, buzzkillers"  
  
"Why did you came then?"  
  
"Nah, I don't know" _Maybe I was hoping to bump into you? ... No, Will, not that_. "Why did you? To stare at your friend?"  
  
"Sort of. She asked me to come so she could talk to a guy, and I assume is that asian guy"  
  
"So you are a chaperon? What's the fun in that?" Nico shrug. Will accommodate in the sofa, putting his front to the other boy, hugging one of his legs, and left the other hanging out of the sofa. "Next song, we are dancing"  
  
"Do I have a say in that?" The Italian really did not want to be _that_ close to Will. That could not be good for his health.  
  
"Why do you ask if you already know the answer?" he answered with flirty smile. Nico's heart skipped a beat. Was Will conscious of his own acts right know?. The song stopped. Will looked at Nico in anticipation. But the next song was not one to dance to. It was _Do I wanna know?_ by Arctic Monkeys. Who puts that on a party?  
  
"I said next song"  
  
"But you can't dance to this!"  
  
"We can dance to anything, no excuses, di Angelo"  
  
"But!..." Nico was dragged out of the sofa and placed in the dance floor, next to a corner. I was a private place to dance, really. The Italian lost sight of Hazel. "You are pulling me here so you can kill me, Solace?" Nico's joke bounced Will, whom had closed his eyes and started moving slowly, according to the rhythm. Nico had to admit that it was a beautiful sight.  
  
They moved to the beat, Nico never parting his eyes from Will's features. It was mid-song when they started to pay attention, both listening closely to the lyrics, saying nothing.  
  
_So have you got the guts? Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts. Simmer down and pucker up. I'm sorry to interrupt It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you, but I don't know if you feel the same as I do._  
  
_But we could be together if you wanted to._  
  
Will instinctively started to move closer, placing his left arm lightly around Nico's waist. _Do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways? Sad to see you go. Was sort of hoping that you'd stay_. Nico copied the movement, closing his eyes, just going with it. Will's arm around him tightened a little more. _Crawling back to you, ever thought of calling when you've had a few? 'Cause I always do._. They closed the space between them, chest to chest, breathing the same air.  
  
_Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new. Now I've thought it through._  
  
Both opened their eyes. They stared at each other for a few seconds, Nico's gaze dropped to Will's lips and Will's dropped to Nico's. It happened exactly at the same time, so they did not notice the other's eye-movement. When they look up again, they eyes met for a small while, then their movement stopped.  
  
"I really need to go to the bathroom"  
  
"I should check on Hazel"  
  
"Yeah, so, see you later?"  
  
"I guess, see you around"  
  
~  
  
  
Nico fled towards Hazel. She was still flirting with asian guy, he didn't want to interrupt but he just wanted to deliver a quick message and leave, so he did so.  
  
"Hazel! We have a situation, I mean, I have one. I need to go, so, hm, call you?" The girl blinked confused. Nico just turned to leave. Hazel looked at Frank and then Nico, and Frank again.  
  
"Frank, it was really really nice meeting you, but well, I think he needs to talk to someone, maybe? I'll see you around, yes?"  
  
"Yeah, OK, I sure hope to see you around, Hazel". She blushed while picking up her bag and turn to run to catch Nico. She had to follow him, both mute, until he stopped walking and sat on the porch of the dorms. Hazel sat next to him, giving him a little space.  
  
"What happened there?"  
  
"I'm gonna tell you everything now and it's a lot, perhaps, so don't freak out"  
  
"Of course"  
  
"Hazel, the reason I wanted to come here, to this university, is because of a childhood friend who's attending here" she nodded, "but that's just a part of the story". Nico looked at the moon and wondered what time it was. The evening had been to timeless... "I'm in love with that childhood friend, since forever, around 5 years"  
  
"Oh wow, okay"  
  
"And them... is a he. I'm in love with a guy." Hazel seemed just a little surprised, actually, it helped to resolve a few puzzles on her mind. She nodded.  
  
"And what's the problem?"  
  
"You remember the blonde guy I bumped into the night of the bonfire?" Hazel nodded again. "That's him. And what happened after is the problem. He has a boyfriend".  
  
"Oh, Nico" she said, sincerely sad about the situation. Nico had come here to have a chance with the guy that had occupied his mind and heart for years, and then when they have reunited, everything had turned to ashes.  
  
"I thought I could be strong enough to face this alone, but I really don't want to" The voice of the boy broke a little and he hugged his legs. Hazel moved closer, placing her arm around the Italian.  
  
"You don't have to, Nico, I'm here for you, I'll always be". Nico rose his head, blinking the tears off.  
  
"Thanks Hazel. I'm sorry I waited this long." She smiled, her eyes showed complete understanding. "After I found out about... the boyfriend, I thought that maybe it was time to let it go, just forget, focus on school, maybe meet someone new..."  
  
"But?"  
  
"Today, while you were flirting with that asian guy, he showed up. We are friends, you know, I know him since I was a year old, literally, and he asked me to dance, so as a friend why would I say no?" He paused to take a deep breath, "he was a little buzzed so I thought maybe the movement will do him good, but when we were dancing, everything turned confusing. Maybe it is just me, I don't know. But the song, the song..." Nico looked at the sky, "the song pull us closer, like really close, do friends dance that close?" he chuckle "and then, it was like the lyrics were talking to me." The boy looked at Hazel "I don't know what happened with him, but I was... happy, the slow dance made everything around us fade away. Anyway, I just can't over-think it, he was a little drunk, I'm not totally sober either, and then a line of the song... I felt like it was telling me not to move on... it made me run out of there, so I wouldn't do something stupid"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"I don't know, kiss him?" he made a sad smile. Hazel just looked at him, and hugged him tighter.  
  
"What was the line?"Nico looked at her, the sad smile still on his lips.  
  
"Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new". Hazel did a _o_ with her mouth.  
  
"That song is made to confuse people". She said, Nico stared at her and smile while nodding aggressively. At that, she let a chuckle escape her mouth. Nico was just warm inside at the sight of her smile. He was so glad to have her as a friend, she was definitely the most amazing girl he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the other day I was listening to _that song_ and I was like 'omg, Solangelo' ! so I needed to place it somewhere, I hope it fitted.
> 
> Thanks to all of you who read this, I was not sure if I should post it at first, but now I'm enjoying the ride (:
> 
> PS: Hopefully, my last exam of the year is tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, please wish me luck! (it's also the reason I did not update this earlier)


	6. Chapter 6

Have you ever done something that immediately after you've done it you knew that you shouldn't have done it at all?  
  
This was wrong. This was so so wrong. He shouldn't had let that happen. How could he let that happened? One minute more on that dance floor and he would probably just ... cheated. This wasn't fair, not to Nico, not to Peter and not to himself.  
  
He had tried, really tried to be over his childhood crush but having Nico around again was making it impossible. But from having those feelings again and act on it, asking Nico to dance with ulterior motives, were two different things. And it was not supposed to happen, he wasn't supposed to _do things_ that could get himself in trouble. Not Peter-trouble, but his-own-heart-trouble. He couldn't do this to himself. It was too painful.  
  
The whole _Do I wanna know?-scene_ was his-own-heart-trouble. The way that his own body had betrayed him, moving closer, wrapping Nico's waist, wanting to breath the same air as the freshman. Everything was trouble.  
  
After the kinda-lying to Nico straight to his face saying that he wanted to go to the bathroom, he actually went to the bathroom, but only to hide there for a few minutes, in which he assumed Nico would use to leave the building or at least find his friend and keep staring at her. A little less than ten minutes, he stepped out of the bathroom and toured the house looking for the little Italian. He was nowhere to be seen, _not that he wanted to see him one more time_ , so he left the party and headed to his dorm room.  
He could not place this moment in an hour of the day, he had totally lost track of time, so when he arrived to his door, he opened it gently so if this roommate was asleep, not to wake him up. It turns out he wasn't, but he said nothing at Will's arrival (if he noticed), because he had his headphones on while studying. Will decided to take a shower, he needed to order his thoughts. Everything was not according to plan at all.  
  
It started the same day that he finally accepted Peter's confession. They became boyfriends and made out for the first time. Which yeah, was nice, but not very special. Damn, he was such a romantic, he still believed that kisses were supposed to be magical. And with Peter it was not... He wondered how it would be if he could get to kiss Nico someday...  
  
That same day, only a few weeks away to return to his house for vacation, his mom called, as usual. They were talking about everything and nothing when she remembered something that she knew from weeks after, but had forgotten to tell him: Nico was going to attend the same university as him. _Wait, what?_ His mom had pointed out like it was nothing, like she had forgotten to tell him something minor as the dress she bought for the summer or something she had forgotten to watch at the cinema. Will couldn't talk. _Wait, what?_ And laughing she told him that she had known for like a month, and how happy Nico was (because Nico and his mom where really close) to attend there and to see Will again, but for longer now. _Wait, what?_. The blonde boy hung up.  
  
That day finished with Will staring at the ceiling for hours, unable to move.  
  
Nico is coming here? Of all places? Why? Nico did not mention anything about it, Will just knew that he wanted to study History, but not where. This college had a bunch of good professors, so why not? But that was all? _of course, Will, what do you expect? That he is coming here for you? Don't be stupid_. Nico could study wherever he wanted, he was smart enough.  
  
How will he face Nico then?  
  
He should be absolutely on cloud nine with the news but... How will he handle the Peter situation? He was already second guessing their relationship and now Nico was on the way... He wanted to think that maybe this was the chance he was waiting for to be finally over Nico. Yeah, this was it, so he decided that if the _boyfriends_ situation survive the summer, he was gonna do what he needed to do to make it last. Even if Nico had to find out about them. He liked Peter, really, they had a lot of fun together, they could study together and understand each other sense of humor, everything went smoothly between them. He had to have that in mind, not his dark-haired friend.  
  
~  
  
  
After the bonfire, when he finally saw Nico again, Peter had appeared out of the blue, kissing him, which he could not refuse, because Peter will notice and bitch about it later. That was, really, not a good way to make the introduction, he had planned inviting Nico to dinner or something, and telling him like it was something not that important, wanting to look at his reaction. When he opened his eyes after Peter's kiss, there was no Nico there to see his reaction. Damn, stupid Peter. _Not that I could blame him, he knows nothing about this_.  
  
The after-talk with Nico the next day was another missed step. He let his emotions control him. He almost teared up out there. That wasn't supposed to happen. Not that he thought that Nico would think it meant something other than the 'I-don't-want-you-to-hate-me speech', which, by the way, was totally true. It was one thing to try to be over Nico and other to let the little guy hate him. He couldn't live with that.  
  
Everything seemed in place after that. Until this night. When he discovered that Nico totally had a crush on his best friend. _Wait_ Now he realized that Nico had told him about her, she was Hazel, _the Hazel_ , his best friend. He was trying to think it was nothing but they used to be best friends, and now it was not even that way. And even after finding out about that, he sort of made a move on him. And now he regretted it, but in the moment: it had been heaven. It was so so wrong, so stupid of his part, unacceptable, but heaven. His thoughts there were that he wished that the dance never ended, that he could hold Nico that close forever, that he could live in the closeness of Nico's breath.  
  
Unacceptable. He shouldn't be thinking that. He had a boyfriend. And he was still planning to keep it that way.  
  
So, he told himself that the whole party situation was being misread, and that he was a little drunk. No big deal, nothing happened and he should go on with his life. _Right?_  
  
~  
  
  
When he got to his room door after the talk with Hazel, Nico knocked. Yeah, he had told Jason he'll be there later that night so if he was occupied with Piper... Well it was just a precaution. Of course, in an instant he heard the voice of the other boy from inside saying if it was Nico, just to come in. So he did. The scene inside was ... well, Nico thought weird, but hey, this was Jason he was talking about. They were playing Scrabble, both leg crossed on bed. It seemed like Piper's turn, because she was extra concentrated.  
  
"She always wins, I don't know why I even bother" Jason said with a smile. Piper gazed at him with concern, like he was saying that he won't be playing with her anymore. Then she noticed Nico's presence and she waved at him.  
  
"Hi, Nico" She looked at his eyes. Nico felt like she was scanning his face, he turned a little nervous. "You seem upset, is everything OK?" Nico stared at her, feeling like he could not lie to those eyes.  
  
"You are really perceptive"  
  
"I get that a lot" She turned to him, letting her legs hang from the bed. Nico just sat on his bed, facing her, in the same position. "So, am I right?" She smiled sympathetically.  
  
"You are" the sad smile on Nico's face made Piper sad as well.  
  
"If I ask why, would you tell us?" Nico looked at the ground. Maybe this was his chance to ask for actual advice, like he's never done before.  
  
"Hm... How about I'll let you know a story and you'll tell me your opinion about it? That I can do." She nodded. Nico took a deep breath. He was revealing so much in the same night, it was tiring, he wasn't use to this. "Let's say... I have a friend, a childhood friend whom I've loved for years, romantically, I guess that's obvious... Anyway, let's say that I decided to move on, because it's been too long and now that friend has a boyfriend and... I should move on, right?"  
  
"That depends, do you want to move on?" Nico struggled with his hands. Now, that was a good question. Nico stared at Piper, not really knowing the answer. She nodded "Why now? If it's been that long, is the boyfriend really the problem? Have you ever said something about it? How would you know if she didn't reciprocate your feelings if you hadn't say anything?" At the word _she_ Nico dropped his gaze. Piper noticed. "Okay, so it's a he. Doesn't matter, really, it doesn't change the point"  
  
Wow, Jason was right, she was never wrong about this things... Nico was a little cautions because he did not know if Jason would _approve_ , but he said it anyway, it was no reason to deny it anymore. "I've never told him anything"  
  
"And is it that bad of an idea for you to tell him?"  
  
"He's been my best friend for years, I don't know what I'd do if he hates me or something" Nico felt his heart shrink as he blinked off the tears.  
  
"Hey" She stood and sat next to Nico, grabbing his hand "He won't hate you, I can't promise you that. He's not homophobic, you said yourself that he has a boyfriend. And if he find it weird or something, it'll pass, you'll see, best friends always find a way to make things work". The Italian looked at her, a single tear on his cheek. She wipe it with her other hand. "How about you tell him, I'm sure it will help you decide if you should move on or not". Nico nodded. Maybe she was right. If he confessed and nothing good came of it, he would move on.  
  
"Thanks, Piper, I'll think about it" He placed his head on her shoulder, "I can't believe I trusted you with this, it's our first real conversation" he smiled.  
  
"I think I just ask the right questions" She smiled and put her hand in his head, stroking his hair. Nico wouldn't say it, but he loved it.  
  
Yeah, her advice made everything clear: before moving on, he needed to close this chapter, so was gonna tell Will how he felt. 


	7. Chapter 7

Will was avoiding him. Why would he do that? Perhaps he sensed that Nico was going to confess and he did not want to hear it. _Yeah, that must be it, sure thing di Angelo. Dumbass_. Why would he think that? Of course it was not that.  
  
So Nico was stalking Will. Whenever he caught grimace of him, he would follow him from afar, waiting for the right moment so he could go and just say it, finally, after all those years. But a week after of zero opportunities at all, he was getting tired. And he was seeing Will with Peter a lot, and that was really hard to watch. So he decided to stop trying to create the moment, and it was different from giving up oportunities, right?.  
  
~  
  
He was trying to pretend that he did not notice the little Italian following him around campus. What was he up to? But one thing he knew: it was not safe -for his own troubles- to be around Nico right now, so he would avoid bumping into him any time soon. He had to focus on his studies and in his boyfriend. Yeah, it was unfair to his boyfriend that he was thinking of other boy, wasn't it? So, no thinking about Nico _, that's better_.  
  
Easier said than done.  
  
He, even though it was not _actually_ true, felt like a cheater. He was cheating on Peter on his mind (like he always felt like when he had _someone_ who wasn't Nico as more-than-a-friend). So against all his will to break up with him, he just hang around Peter even more, so maybe that way his thoughts would organize in the right direction.  
  
Weeks passed, and the whole situation was wrecking him inside. It wasn't working. Yeah, he liked spending time with Peter, he was a friend. But all the kissing and touching was not good. He was not into Peter that way. He could not do that anymore, he was lying to himself and lying to Peter.  
So one night, after a date (so casual, yeah, maybe not a very good decision), Will call it quits. He tried to smooth thing but for Peter, it was totally out of the blue, so he was certainly not happy and really really confused.  
  
"You are going to dump me, just because?"  
  
"There's a main reason, well and, this... us, I can't picture it lasting, I've tried but I can't, I'm sorry, what I feel for you is not the same that you feel for me, and that's not fair, not to you"  
  
"But it's usually this way, somebody has to fall first, ain't it? I mean, we can try again, I.. I can do something, I don't know, but I don't think that enough reason. Please Will, give us another go"  
  
"Peter..." The tremulous voice that he had never heard and the pained look in the eyes that he had never witness before, were making all the confidence that he had built up for this moment simply go overboard. "I can't, I don't want to hurt you anymore than already I have ". Will placed his right hand in one side of Peter's face and looked directly at his beautiful brown eyes, "you've been an amazing boyfriend and I am very thankful for that. That is even more reason for you to be with someone who can reciprocate your feelings. And I'm not that person. I am really sorry Pet, I hope you find the one for you".  
  
Peter closed his eyes and leaned to kiss Will one last time. It was a short sweet kiss, followed by a quick hug. Peter parted and waved at him while he was leaving. The blonde boy just stood there, for what felt like days, but it really was nearly 20 minutes. Then he returned to his dorm, jump into his bed and sobbed himself to sleep.  
  
The real problem - and the problem he had been having for the last seven years, was still there. This was just a little step. Even if he did not end up with Nico, this was the right thing to do. That he told himself.  
  
~  
  
The mac and cheese of tonight's dinner were specially good. Nico and Hazel were on their usual table a little passed their usual time to eat because of unusual events, like a huge essay Nico had to finish before ten pm. The Italian wanted to drop the chitchat and just ask for advice _again_ but well, it was a good chitchat.  
  
"So, you know Piper, Jason's girlfriend?" He finally said when there was a moment.  
"Yeah, I've seen her, why?"  
  
"Well, after what we talked about, you know, after the party... I kinda told her almost everything"  
  
"So, she knows what I know and you know her for how long? 2 months? That's low, Nico"  
  
"You know more! I did not told her whom I was talking about or whatever, and she's really sharp and I was flying low and..."  
  
"What did she say about it?"  
  
"Huh..?"  
  
"Come on, do you really think I'll be mad because you told her? I bet it was written all over you face when you get to the dorm, even you would've seen it"  
  
"Hey! I'm not _that_ clueless."  
  
"Yes, yes you are" she laughed. Yeah, that's a good sound, Nico thought. "Well, well, so, what did she said?"  
  
"That I should confess before I move on, otherwise I won't be able to"  
  
"Okay, I think that too."  
  
"So I just have to tell him? And you two say it like it's nothing."  
  
"I'm not gonna say it's easy, but come on, man, it's been too long. If you don't get it out of your chest, you'll just leave and breathe the pain, and the loneliness"  
  
"Like I am now". Hazel looked at him with a cheerless expression, that matched his own.  
  
"If you tell him, and in the worst-case scenario you get rejected, it would heal faster. It would heal, period. Like a post-op, but you have to extract the cancer first"  
  
"You just compare this to cancer..."  
  
"It's not my best example, okay?" she seemed a little embarrassed "but the point is, if you don't get the tumor out, it will continue on growing and it can't heal, 'cause it won't heal by itself, by doing nothing"  
  
"Stop with the cancer references! God, I'm glad you're not in med school"  
  
"Okaay! But you got the point right? If you don't say it, it just keeps piling up, and it's just not healthy. Gather up all the little courage that you have in you and tell him. As soon as possible"  
  
"Yeah, about that, I haven't seen him around, maybe he is avoiding me?  
  
"Why would he do that?"  
  
"I don't know?"  
  
"I bet you are just imagining things" she smiled so he would relax a little, "and if he is, I'm sure you would bump into each other in some moment, like you always do."  
  
~  
  
Three days later Will was holding the library's door for a girl that was coming out of it, hugging like eight books. None him or the little Italian were aware of the closeness between them when, a moment later, they were picking up the books that the girl had dropped by accident.  
_Damn cliché_ Nico thought when he looked up, facing Will. Now he was panicking. Yeah, he had said that he was gonna tell Will how he felt but this was one of the worst moments that he could ever picture.  
  
After the fifteenth apology and thank you that they received from the girl, they glimpsed at each other, Nico really afraid to say anything, Will just thinking _why now?_.  
  
"Have a test coming close?" _What kind of question is that, Solace? stop being so nervous!_  
  
"And a essay, I have to finish reading a book first though, the essay and the test require it"  
  
"Oh... is it a big one?"  
  
"Around 300 pages? Well, it's not short, but not boring neither. No complains so far"  
  
"You've always loved to read" the golden-haired boy smiled. So did Nico, and they walked towards a table.  
  
"What about you? Study session?"  
  
"Yeah, the usual, a little reading for bioethics, a little study for immunology. Nothing urgent, I like not to be stressed out later"  
  
"Smart" he picked up his book and start reading. So did Will.  
  
They studied in silence for a long time, chitchatting a little once in a while, but nothing big. It went on for about three hours. When Will noticed the time, he also noticed how comfy it was being around Nico again, even when studying and almost non talking. But he had to go, he had promised Lou Ellen to help her with clinical semiology. He glared at Nico, who was so fixed with his reading, taking notes and memorizing things. The image of him, for Will, was dreamy, brought back memories, but at the same time was something so new, Nico looked so mature, so responsible, so capable, _so beautiful, so handsome._..  
  
Nico caught him staring and Will fought his body so hard so he won't turn tomato-colored. The younger boy said nothing about it, so he sighed in relief.  
  
"I have to go, a friend needs help studying"  
  
"Oh, OK". Nico's leg started shaking. He was suddenly really nervous and anxious. When will he see the blonde boy again?  
  
"So, see you around" As he turned to leave, Nico stood up. The sudden sound made Will turn again.  
  
"When? I mean... Can we save a day?... I- I have.. we need to talk". Will's heart skipped a beat. _What is this about?_  
  
"Yeah, sure, I'll text you later?"  
  
Nico nodded and sat again, not looking up. Both boys hearts were racing. It took a few second for Will to snap out of it, and turn again to leave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a few of the med classes that are taught in universities here, so I don't know if they are accurate. 
> 
> We are getting closer to the end, and I have to be OK with it, and with the holidays and all, it may take a while to update. 
> 
> Anyway. Happy holiday everybody :)!


	8. Chapter 8

“Will, there is something that I’ve been hiding from you for years… I’m in love you you, since I was a child… I even followed you here because I thought that maybe… who am I kidding? I came here because you’ll be here, also the program is really good but well, you picked a good school, it great here isn’t it? no complains…”

“Stop there, you are rambling on”

“Hazel!” Nico shouted quietly. “This is hard, OK, and don’t laugh at me!”

“Okaaay, sorry, but just let out the part about how good this school is please, and well, hm, it an average confession, you got to the point, but there’s a few things I would let out…”

“Geez, Hazel the confession expert” Nico sat next to her and pouted. Hazel let a chuckle escape.

“Well, clearly I have more experience, ‘cause even if I was never confessed to or confessed to someone, well I’m a girl, and I watch rom-coms.”

“Not that all girls like rom-coms”

“You are missing the point again!” She said pinching Nico’s cheeks. “Okay, so, what I think is, the important thing here is that you deliver a quality message. You cannot say something that can be misread or that can lead to doubt. You have to say the words ‘I’m in love with you’ no matter what.”

“Come ooon, I know, but arggh why does this have to be so hard?”

“If it were easy it wouldn’t mean this much”

“Shut up, I know.” Nico peeked at Hazel. “By the way, how is it going with the Asian giant?”

“His name is Frank, Nico, not Asian giant”

“Well, Frank.”

“Well, we talk... like a lot. I think we’re becoming friend” She said with a smile and a dreamy look in her eyes.

“Do I have to be worried or happy? I mean, he seems like a nice guy but if he does something to you…”

“Take it easy, bro, I mean, we’re barely friends.” She placed her arm around the Italian’s back, putting her hand in the shoulder. ”Thank you for being worried, but at least for now, we’re only getting to know each other.”

“You like him?”

“Yeah, I may like him” She rested her head in the unoccupied shoulder of Nico. “I don’t know yet”

“Well, I’ll be rooting or you. I hope at least one of us ends up having good luck in love”

“I hope the two of us are”

“Yeah, me too”.  


~

Days without Peter were a little lonely, he had to admit. He was used to him, as a friend. Sure he had other friends too, but they were all mutual friends. And, like in a divorce, all of them took sides. It sucked. He had lost almost half of his friends – but no really lost them, they would still talked to him as usual, only not in Peter’s presence.

Four days had passed since his encounter with Nico in the library, and he still hadn’t texted him. The younger boy hadn't neither. He was suddenly nervous thinking about it. What was it about? Why would Nico be so worked out? Did he do something wrong to upset him? But they were getting along well… Even though, the party made everything a little awkward, at least for him…

What if Nico wanted to tell him how inappropriate it was the way that Will got carried away in that dance? And asked him if they could never do that again because it was uncomfortable ? What if Nico say that dancing that close would give Hazel the wrong idea, and that he likes her? What if Peter really went to the party and saw them and he was harassing Nico? – No, Peter wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t… Right?

Above all that thoughts that collided in his brain, leaving him dizzy, were another kind of them. The hopeful ones. The ones that fantasized about Nico just wanting to say that he had realized that he likes him. And that all the years of friendship, the support, the coming to this university, the glimpses, the little touches, the laughs, the confidence, was all because he was in love with Will…

But, even in his wildest dreams Nico would never be so upfront. Will felt like the Italian was always fighting words to speak, afraid of rejection. Including if Will considered himself the closest person to Nico, he could tell that sometimes the dark-haired boy did not say thing just because he just couldn’t phrase them. There was a world inside of him that was still a mystery to him.

Six days counted when he decided that he just needed to know. If was a good scenario or it a complete rejection, he just couldn’t wait anymore – he did not even know if he could be rejected without confess … _wait, what if he confesses to Nico?_.

Don’t think to much, Solace, just text him and then you’ll see.

[to Nico]: Hey, I’ve been busy with a lot of stuff, sorry I didn’t text you before. When can we meet? I’m free tomorrow I think, or you tell me when you can.

He stared at his phone for a minute. This was it.

He send it.

~

Nico was waiting in a bank of one of the parks inside campus. It had a tree above it and a really nice view of a little artificial lake where a family of ducks were swimming around. The air was getting a little chilly, even though it didn't bother the boy very much, he was very comfy in a black coat and he was drinking a cappuccino. Maybe he had arrived too early? He looked at the time. Yeah, he was 20 minutes early.

“Hey, how was your week?” Not long after he saw the time, he was greeting Will with a shy smile.

“Forgettable” Nico said. It was really one of this weeks that are so uneventful that in a year (or even before) it’ll be like it never happened. Will smiled.

“Is that so? You did not even had to turn in an essay or had a test?”

“Nope, absolutely nothing, pure routine”

“What a bad week is that.” Nico smiled and nodded. “I like weeks where I have to do things, even if it is study hard for an exam. I like to believe that without storms, it like we’re floating in the ocean with nothing to do. And that’s just… forgettable”

“Did you got that from somewhere, right?”

“You got me there” Will laughed softly. “But anyway, I think it true.”

“How about your week? Was it memorable?”

“I wouldn’t say that, but I had my mind occupied at least, nothing fancy but i'll think i'll remember it”

“So better that mine anyway”

“Yeah, that might be the case”

A small silence fell onto them. This was getting awkward. Damn it, he did not want it to be awkward.

Both talked at the same time. To say nothing at all. Just to break the ice. They laughed at that. And then started talking about everything and nothing. It was impressive how even though they both got there so anxious and nervous, they could relax just laughing at small things.

And hour passed by. Then half an hour more. They were heading to the two hour mark when they both seemed to remember why they got together in the first place.

They went silent. Did not look at each other. Palms sweating. Blood pressure rising.

“I wanted to talk to you… about something” Nico’s heart was racing faster that it never did in his whole life. As his voice came out really shaky and low, he didn’t know if Will had listened. The other boy was just sitting there, in the same position as he was; his torso slightly forward, hands nervously put together over his lap and head down, looking to the ground. Nico decided to peek at the blonde’s face. He was biting his lip, as he was deciding if say or not say something, do or not do something. Nico stared, he couldn’t help it, Will looked so conflicted that it was confusing.

The younger boy felt warm in his shoulder, where they were touching. A shiver traveled down his body as a result of the opposition of that warm and the cold wind that was now surrounding them. It was getting a little dark, even though it was not late, thick clouds were now blinding the sun. Nico studied the sky for a few seconds, then turned his eyes to Will, who was now looking at him. They said nothing.

Will’s eyes looked determined, he closed the distance between their faces slowly, but at the same time it felt fast, impossible to refuse. It was impossible for Nico to refuse those eyes. When their noses slightly touched, the Italian realized what was happening, it was like just before that little touch he was under a spell, letting out the wanting that he had felt over the years, leaving this mind blank and letting his body do what it wanted.

He only had two thoughts: he didn’t want to stop. And, _Peter_.

He looked at Will’s eyes for confirmation. He needed to know if this was OK, if this was real. All he saw was Will’s eyes closed, waiting, leaning in. He definitely wasn’t going to stop.

Their lips collided softly - but that didn't last long. In a second Will’s hands were claiming owning in both sides of Nico’s face, his right one slowly sliding to the back of his head, his fingers smoothly in between his hair. At that movement, the Italian tilted his head, letting a small gasp escape his mouth, and his body pulled closer, clutching firmly in the back of Will’s coat. Solace took that as an opening, aiming to sense again the coffee scent that he had found in Nico. When their lips met again, now more eagerly, he found that and more; nothing compared to the feeling of belonging right now. He felt closer that even to the person that he had always dreamed to the closer with. He was pretty sure, he was going to die of happiness, melting in that kiss forever.

But Nico pulled away.

The Italian didn't want to part, he really didn't. That kiss was everything that he had always wanted, that he always had dream of. But it was wrong. He was not a cheater, and he did not want to make William one – even though he already had. Nico pushed away but was still in the bench, hands in his lap and looking to the ground.

Will didn’t know what to do. He felt like the earth was falling above him. His heart was even more fast that before – and that didn’t seem possible. The only thing that he was feeling now was fear.

“What are you doing? Why did you do that?” Nico tried to sound upset, but his voice was brittle.

Will didn’t respond. He was about to cry. He swallowed slowly. He had to answer. “I – I … you, I… thought that…” He stood, not looking at Nico. He needed to run, to escape there, and to cry. “I’m sorry” he said as he started walking away.

 

He was about 20 feet from the bench when he heard a scream, “Solace!” He turned and saw Nico still on the bench but up in his feet, head down as he was crying. Will was paralyzed. Nico started walking to him, his head still down.

The younger boy bumped into Will’s chest and they just stood there for a few minutes. Nico was the one to break the silence.

“I need to know why, Will.” His voice almost inaudible. “Do you expect me to be left here, after _that_ and without knowing why? What did you think you’ll gain? And what about your boyfriend? Are you going to tell him what happened?”

 _Right… Peter_ , Will didn’t tell Nico that they had broken up. Now, he understood. An overwhelming feeling took over him and he hugged Nico. He wraps his arms around him like he was the most precious thing in the world. _And he is_. Before he could say anything in the matter, the younger boy hugged back, and Will could feel the little sobs coming out of him.

Nico remembered Hazel’s words and said, “I’m in love with you”. The arms around him pulled him even closer, squeezing even harder. He did not know if it was his imagination but he felt like Will was crying too. They remained there, until they could talk again. Will felt silly. But was worth it, now he knew how the other boy felt. Now he felt like he could say it too, without fear. He was only overwhelmed with love.

“Me too, Nico.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, that was hard to write. I'm aiming for fluff so I thought this will be accurately sweet.
> 
> Anyway, happy new year everybody!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! It's been so so long. I know that and I'm sorry, but my mind hasn't been on the fandom lately and being the last chapter I didn't wanted to rush it.
> 
> But, here it is... and it's over. Thanks a lot for sticking with the story.
> 
> I hope you like it.

_~~Dear diary I guess? (Nah, who am I kidding…)~~_  
  
_Dear Bianca:_  
  
_It’s so embarrassing to write this down. But it’s necessary, because it happened. Happened like seven years later but happened. We are finally together, like together together. Can you believe it? That’s the hard part, but I’m getting accustomed to it so quickly that nah, yeah, I can believe it. I’m starting to._  
  
_While I was still at home (the good years, oh, yes) I used to come to see you so you’ll know I’m worried of getting on your good side with this whole thing. I don’t think it’s silly, having a connection with you have always helped me to understand him better. I want to have a connection with you too, the way he does. But anyway, I came to you several times with my progress status which was always the same: no progress._  
  
_Remember the day before I almost confessed? Hahaha you sure laugh at my lack of courage, I was SO invested on doing it I even came here to let you know in advance but Hey! Guess what, I couldn’t do it. Silly me, he would have said yes back there. Like we said yes to each other yesterday._  
  
_Damn, I’m losing my point… But you know, its weird writing you, I usually just talk nonstop until I realize what time it is and leave you flowers and be on my way. But you know, school is not over yet and I just really need to talk to you right now, and I can’t, so I write._  
  
_And I want to write about… Darks clouds in the sky and arms around me. The beginning of my life. You know, the life that I dreamed for so long. That I talked to you so much about. A life with him. Oh my God, I must sound so cliché, right? Sorry about that, you must be laughing at that too._  
  
_But, yeah. Well._  
  
_I… Right now I just want to say thanks. Even when you are not here anymore, you have been. For years. And with your help, imagining what you would say to me, to enlighten my way, to guide me and be hard on me when I needed it you to be, you have help me grow. And well, I don’t usually keep secrets from him, so I’m gonna tell him that I’ve been visiting you for years, I don’t think he would mind, right? And now we can visit together, like I always wanted to._  
  
_Thanks so much, Bianca, you were my best friend and I know you would still be now. So yeah, I hope that you don’t mind that I monopolize his love now… Kidding, we’ll always have a gigantic peace of heart for you in both of ours. ~~Maybe the left ventricle?~~_  
  
_Really wish you could see us now._  
  
_Thanks again. And see you soon (Winter break it’s just around the corner! Finally!)._  
  
_Will._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~  
  
“So you and Asian guy, huh?”  
  
“Would you both stop calling him that” Hazel said unamused. “You know his name, and well, yeah, I mean, nothing serious yet but yeah”  
  
“Did you guys smooch yet?”  
  
“William!” She fanned herself with her hand, looking away. “Nico, control your boyfriend please”  
  
“I’ve had problems with that all my life, really, I don’t know how I can start now”, the Italian said with a sly smile.  
  
“Easy, tell him that you won’t talk to him or contact him or touch him or kiss him until he behaves and I’m sure he won’t be able to stand that”. Will made a choking sound, like someone was taking the air out of him.  
  
“You won’t do that, right Nico?”  
  
“If necessary… maybe”  
  
“What!?” Will paled and pouted.  
  
“I think it’s a very effective technique” The younger boy said thinking deeply, “yeah, I can picture it working…”  
  
“Are you messing with me, right? You wouldn’t want that either!”  
  
“I can handle it”  
  
“Sure you can” Interrupted Hazel, still a little red. “Guys! We can double date now!”  
  
“Only if Nico talks to me and contact me and touches me and kisses me…”  
  
Nico just rolled his eyes, and stepped up to where Will was sitting – there were only one person little sofas on the room. The blonde boy had his arms crossed over his chest, looking away, still pouting, but very aware that Nico was approaching him. The Italian just sat in front of him with his legs crossed and put a hand over Will’s knee. He said nothing.  
  
“Okay” Will agreed. “But when we return from winter break”  
  
“Why not earlier?” Hazel had calmed down and she was now sitting next to Nico, leaning on him with her head on his shoulder. “I mean, tomorrow night, maybe?”  
  
“Well, tomorrow is our last big test and then we can go home, so, I just want to go home, no offense Hazel but I think the double date can wait”. Now it was her turn to pout.  
  
“Okaay” She looked both Nico and Will very seriously, and pouted again. “I hate you both, you are neighbors too! I mean, I won’t see Frank until we come back from the break”  
  
“But when we get tired of each other we won’t have somewhere to run like you will” Nico said playfully.  
  
“Like that would happen…” The golden haired boy added, with a smile. “I did not got tired of you in all this years so…”. The Italian’s heart warmed, neither did he.  
  
“Not helping” Hazel said with a sight.  
  
“Okay, okay”, both boys said in unison.  
  
“So, when we come back, assuming it’s all the same and we or you haven’t broke up…”  
  
“Please, it won’t happen, Nico”  
  
“Okay! When we come back, we’ll double date. I really want to meet Frank, to be honest…”  
  
“I hope it’s because you are looking up for Hazel…”  
  
“Of course it is, stupid”  
  
“Kidding”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~  
  
Arriving at his old room was a little overwhelming, telling the truth. He expected memories. And messy calm. But it was so much more than that. When he stepped into his room, first he remembered that time that Will stayed over for a night, when Nico was about to turn 17. He was very decided to ask for a kiss for his birthday gift – _yeah, like he was bold enough_. Instead, he had watched Will sleep, for several minutes, until he gave up to sleepiness and went to sleep as well. How many times they have shared a bed? Countless. How many time he had wanted to reach out to him and just cuddle (to say the least)? Countless. How many times he had fantasied with a wake up kiss? Or a good night kiss? Countless.  
  
But now, here he was. Sitting in the bed that have uncovered all that, feelings and memories. He could go all day looking at different corners of his old room doing that. Reminiscing. But now it was not torture anymore. Now if they shared a bed – maybe even this one – he could reach out, and get _and give_ morning and goodnight kisses. It still felt a little unreal.  
  
A knock on the door caught him off guard. He leaped his gaze towards the door – that was open – and standing there was his mother, with that sad look on her eyes that she had had for years.  
  
“I did not see you come in, how was the trip?” she was still trying her best to connect with her lost son, all this years, she wanted to give up so many times, but hope… she still have hope.  
  
“It was fine”  
  
“I’m glad” she said with a small smile. Nico didn’t stand that smile very much, it resembled painfully to Bianca’s. “Do you want something to eat? I could prepare whatever you want, really…Or we could order in, or eat out”.  
  
“Thanks… maybe Chinese?”  
  
Maria’s face lighted up, it was unusual that Nico would respond so well to her. _He even said Thanks_. Nico had to admit that the sight of her mother happy like that – with real smile that was rarely on her face – was pretty good.  
  
“Any favorites? Or I just order random stuff?”  
  
“Something veggie, please, and I don’t really care about other stuff, I’m hungry, really”  
  
“Okay, okay, I’ll call now and let you know when it arrives?”  
  
“Please”. He was still on his bed, but his mind was somewhere else. The happy face of his mother reminded him of Bianca’s happy face. It was a nice memory. Bianca would want to see their mother happy. And he had been too busy being angry to realize that – or maybe he was just was ignoring it until now. “Maria… mother.” She was dialing the phone, but at the sound of that she turned, surprise on her features. “When you are done with the call, maybe, if you want to hear it, I could tell you about school?”  
  
She was gobsmacked. Her jaw didn’t dropped because she was now holding back tears. “Okay” She said with a shaky voice, and she left to take deep breaths so she would be able to call the Chinese delivery.  
  
Nico waited in the same spot. He was amazed by his own behavior. He had – voluntary – proposed to talk with his mother, who he had been holding grudges against since _the accident_. But now, he was tired, he just wanted to let it go and try to find that smile - he didn’t realized he’d been missing so much – again, as much as possible. It was gonna take time. But, hey, lately things that took time were coming together. Maybe this will too.  
  
“Can I come in?” Maria was standing on the doorstep, her voice was still shaky, like she was expecting him to regret the invitation. Nico patted the bed next to him. The Italian woman brought his hands to her mouth, eyes watery.  
  
As she moved towards the bed and then sat next to her son, Nico compiled a list of things that he wanted to say to her. But before anything, he voiced what he thought was the first step to everything else.  
  
“Mom, I’m sorry. It’s been years, but I want to say that… I don’t blame you for what happened, not anymore. And I’m glad I didn’t lost you too”. A river of tears emanated from Maria’s eyes, and at the sight of that, Nico took her hand. “Thanks for everything, even though I didn’t tell you before, or talked to you much… Now I really appreciate that I wouldn’t be here if not for you. I'll be here for you too. ”  
  
The hug that came after, was the beginning of a long list of hugs they'll give each other in the years to come.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~  
  
“I forgave mom”  
  
Nico was sitting legs crossed in front of his sister, with a single tea rose on his hand. Will was standing a few steps behind, giving them privacy.  
  
“Finally, Bianca. I’m talking to her again, and she’s doing better too. I feel responsible for her depression, and I am… But now I feel like I’m ready to help her, and I will, I promise. I’m sorry for taking so long to come around…”  
  
Nico looked back at Will, telling him with his eyes to come closer. No words needed, really.  
  
“We have something to tell you, actually…”  
  
“Let me”, said Will, placing the letter that he had written to her weeks before on the side of the rose that was now on the floor.  
  
“What’s that?”  
  
“My way of telling her”  
  
“You wrote her a letter? Why?”  
  
“Because I wasn't able to come here when I was on campus…”  
  
“You came here often?”  
  
“I’m surprised we never bumped into each other here…”  
  
Nico looked happily surprised.  
  
“You… can read it if you want”. Nico shook his head. “It’s all right, I want you to”.  
  
Nico took his time to look at the envelope, then he opened it, very delicately. He read it in the same way. Word by word, he felt closer to the depths of Will’s feelings. Even though it was not very long, it meant a lot.  
  
“You… are crying”  
  
“I’m not crying, you are crying”  
  
“Yeah, that’s also true”  
  
Nico finally met Wil’s tender gaze. He was now sitting next to him, reaching for his hand. Nico took a moment to breathe in and out. Then he looked at Will, then at Bianca’s grave, then at Will again. He left the letter next to the rose and cupped the blonde boy’s head with the hands he had liberated from Will’s. He voiced an ‘I love you’ and then closed the distance between them.  
  
He knew the answer to that. He could hear it later.  
  
  
  
_Hopefully, forever._  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, thanks for all of you who had read this, especially for all the kudos and more especially for the few comments left along the chapters - they meant a lot to me. You made this so much more fun and exciting!  
> I learned a lot as well. This is probably the longest thing I have ever written in english so, I'm kinda proud - even thought is not nearly as good as I wished.  
> And well, it was hard too, so, if the writing hurricane knocks on my door again, I'll just write one shots..
> 
> PS: In my mind Will becomes a pediatric surgeon and Nico a history teacher. And they get married... after Hazel - she throws the bouquet to Nico, even when he was not on the multitud to get it.  
> Children? Yeah. I can picture a boy. Will love kids and Nico has a lot of love to give, and he would really like to have someone to play mythomagic with. 
> 
> ~
> 
> Bye bye, for now .


End file.
